He’s a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody
Doesn’t have a point of view
Knows not where he’s going to
Isn’t he a bit like you and me?
Nowhere man please listen
You don’t know what you’re missing
Nowhere man, the world is at your command
He’s as blind as he can be
Just sees what he wants to see
Nowhere man, can you see me at all
Nowhere man don’t worry
Take your time, don’t hurry
Leave it all ’til somebody else
Lends you a hand
Ah, la, la, la, la
Doesn’t have a point of view
Knows not where he’s going to
Isn’t he a bit like you and me?
Nowhere man please listen
You don’t know what you’re missing
Nowhere man, The world is at your command
Ah, la, la, la, la
He’s a real nowhere man
Sitting in his nowhere land
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody The BEETLES 1965
Allegedly written by John Lennon in a moment of despondancy, there are days when anyone can feel it was meant just for them. It’s OK, the feeling will pass.
It’s dericulous! Not even Jerkules can get the lids off half the bottles and jars nowadays. Wots goin’ on?When all else failed I used to be able to take pride in my thick wrists and massive hands. Now I’ve found humiliation with a pot of honey! And mayonaise! And jam! My wife smirks discreetly and produces her plastic lid popper. I look forward to the day I hear that wee widget snap in half. I used to be able to open any jar or bottle without any fuss, a clear smug sign of my manliness. Then there are those plastic sacks. Potato chips for example. One can apply the pry of Sampson on them and they won’t yield a milimetre. You try different angles of attack until finally the bloody thing explodes, grenading chips all over the room. If you try to save the remaining contents and roll up the bag, it’ll now rip like wet toilet paper. It’s a plot! Destroy their self-esteem. We’ll over-run them without even wearing gloves.
It can’t be geezerhood. Artificial Intelligence?
Ever heard of PETA? It’s an international organization allegedly dedicated to the welfare of animals. I sent them a humble fifty dollars for the abandoned dogs in Ukraine. Since then, now years later, I incessantly continue to receive thick solicitations for more money. They have spent far more than the original fifty bucks on stationary and postage. There is continuing evidence that Peta also euthanizes thousands of animals regularily. Even elephants! I want no part of a money-grubbing charity with self-serving interests. Enough said.
On a lighter note, in a local marketing app, I found someone was advertising a “Hitch-a-shidder”. It was a toilet seat mounted in a rear bumper trailer hitch on a pickup truck. I guess it’s for those tailgate parties and for what some folks call “glamping.” Just add a seatbelt and you’re good to go! A load for the road!
Dung-ho!
Today is overcast with a light, cold rain. There is a determind rising paranoia about a summer drought so this should assuage the fear a bit. I suppose folks have always worried about the weather, their fate eternally in the grip of some “atmospheric river.” For thousands of years, farmers knew their survival depended on the vagararies of the weather Gods. Now in BC, orchardists and vineyard owners are demanding compensation because they claim their crops were damaged due to harsh winter conditions. As if the government has control over the forces of the spinning planet! I’ve seen beautifully ripe grain harvests destroyed in a five minute hail storm, luschious hay crops wiped out by heavy rain. It is part of the risk of agriculture. Not one farmer is suggesting that in good years will they pay extra taxes. Fishermen have good years, but we only hear about the bad. C’mon folks, the only guaranteed income I know of is when you become a politician. Suck it up!
I’ve just learned this morning about a new documentary called “My Adventures With Assholes.” Finally I’m getting some attention. Admit it or not, we all contribute to this social phenomenon in our scramble toward self-entitlement. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’m sure it will bob up. Mind you, half a nation wants to re-elect a man for president who falls asleep at his own criminal trial and then produces putrid farts. Dern that caviar! As it is said, you can’t make this shit up. This puts a new twist on the verb to ‘ trump.’
Humpty Trumpty produced a great smell
Dropped a bomb among his lawyers
and drove them all to hell.
Let’s see if the spin doctors can fix this one. May the bird of paradise fly up your nose!
“ Today is the tomorrow you were so worried about yesterday.” Anthony Hopkins